Last night I went to my art group. Four of us get together once a fortnight at one of our homes and ‘do’ art. When we first started, about a year and a half ago, we picked a topic or a technique, researched it a bit and then experimented. We tried lino printing, collage, abstract. And we concentrated on themes such as winter, movement, shape or colour. We all came with a varying degree of expertise and experience, but the object of our meetings was to have fun and enjoy the process.
Recently however we have become a bit directionless so we invited a teacher to help motivate us and give us guidance. We all enjoyed the lessons and the learning, but as we are all coming from different places it has been difficult to agree on what we all need and how we want to move forward.
Prior to our getting together yesterday we had decided we would expand on our last session of experimenting with pointillism. We agreed that we would paint a self portrait using this technique. However, it was clear from the start that a couple, if not a few, of us were not now so keen on this, and in fact had developed a great resistance to it! So, almost without discussing it everyone just started doing their own thing.
It would appear that we are all trying to find our own way, each of us feeling as if we are floundering whilst envying what we see as the others’ sense of purpose and artistic achievement.
At the end of the evening we are joined by two of the group’s husbands. We have a meal together, show our art and reflect on the process. It was commented on by one that it is all very well to just do what we want with no regard to the agreed topic, but that it wasn’t much of a challenge.
Reflecting on this (having initially strongly objected to it) I saw the merit of his comment, and could see how it applied to writing this blog.
I haven’t kept to my intention to write daily. Although I am happy that this may have been a bit ambitious, I am also aware of how easily I can give up, not bother. Over the last few days I have allowed negative thinking about the validity and usefulness of this blog to stop me writing, seeing it as narcissistic and self indulgent.
Whatever the truth of these thoughts, my challenge is to continue writing despite them. My purpose is to share this stuff in order to get out of my own way and allow ideas and inspiration to shine through. My challenge is to not identify with the self defeating thoughts and to carry on even though I may feel uncomfortable. My challenge is to not give up when the going gets tough.
There is a fine line between comfort and challenge and I am learning to discern the difference.
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