As I sat in my bath this morning my mind was spewing out random, disconnected thoughts and ideas, words that I wanted to write. But like the waves on the shore, as soon as they had peaked they receded, making way for another set.
I can try and rationalise what it all means, or I can dismiss it all as nonsense. I can overlay it with further thoughts that I am out of control, that I must be going mad. I can go into overwhelm and then shut down, seeing it all as pointless and inappropriate.
Or I can just stay with it.
I can stop pretending.
Pretending that I have perfect ideas, that I know how to live in this world. That I have progressed somewhere, that I have my own answers.
Because life is messy.
And all I can do is keep showing up.
And as this blog is about a space to be, a space to be me, however that presents in any moment, then that is what I am going to record.
And whether that shows up as ugliness, confusion, sadness or madness I am going to allow it all to curl up next to me, welcomed, held. With permission to stay as long as it likes.
And who knows, it may then wake as wonder, beauty, peace….
Comments