Despite my best efforts I am still procrastinating. Because I want everything to be perfect. Although I am writing this blog for myself, I have an awareness of an audience, which limits my self expression.
So I have decided to post every day. Simply as means to establishing a habit, a routine. Once I am used to that I can start refining what I am saying, focusing on specific topics, bettering my style.
I can only turn up as I am now. Which is all I want to say and be. I want to share this with the world. Nothing new. Nothing extraordinary – although the results can be. Simply being present. Being mindful of all that I do. Accepting every thought and emotion and sensation. Welcoming it and inviting it to stay for as long as is needed.
Ultimately I am doing this for myself. Because I love the feeling I get when I have expressed my self and shared it with others, an other. I am going to trust that this is not only a good enough reason to do it, but actually the only reason to do it. By doing something I love, by sharing my joy of writing – even if it touches on, or delves into, deeper darker parts of myself – it comes from my true authentic nature. Hopefully, by baring my soul, others will feel freer to do the same, even if it’s in private, in their own words in a journal, or simply as an acknowledgement of something in their own minds.
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